


Kenji's Flavor of the Week.

by BGee93



Series: Tumblr Drabbles/Asks [14]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Lip Balm, Lip Gallagher Bashing, M/M, Shenanigans, aone save him, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18442559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BGee93/pseuds/BGee93
Summary: Ask:Anonymous said:Can you make a fic with any Futakuchi ship, but it involves this going wrong? Futakuchi has chapstick on his person 24/7. He tries to make it an intimidation tactic by using the chapstick in front of rival players, popping his lips loud when he’s done, and just casually offering it to his victim trying to destroy their composure.Turned this ask into an excuse to write some rarepairs that have been on my mind.





	Kenji's Flavor of the Week.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ratlah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratlah/gifts).



> Unedited. I'm not dead just on a long hiatus. Kudos to anyone who can guess where I got the title from.

The first person he ever tried it on, in high school that is, was his new teammate and rumored future captain. 

Moniwa Kaname. 

A soft, caring, somewhat skittish person. The perfect target to test the waters of his favorite intimidation tactic. Usually he reserves it for the rivals, his personal enemies. But after meeting the short setter, after sizing him and his personality up, Kenji just couldn’t help himself.

While every other first year had extended a hand to their new senpais out of respect, Kenji instead reached into his team jacket to pull out his lip balm. To this day he still remembers the flavor he’d chosen. Vanilla Bean. Not one of his favorites but the flavor worked best to match with his vanilla lip scrub so he’d sucked it up and used it today. Hilariously the package color nearly matched the Date tech color so he tells himself it was a sign.

Without breaking direct eye contact with his new senpai, Kenji uncaps the lip balm and slowly, purposely, runs it along his already soft lips. He rubs his lips together just as slowly while recapping the stick, slipping it back in its place inside his pocket. 

Moniwa stares back at him. Eyes wide, blinking awkwardly as his own lips are clenched into a straight line as he continues holding his hand out towards Kenji. Moniwa hears his fellow teammates years, it’s actually just Kamasaki but he can feel the disappointed seeping off of Sasaya in Futakuchi’s direction, scolding the new kouhai. But Kenji just grins at him. It’s wicked, borderline sneering.

Breaking the grin to smooth his lips together one last time Kenji releases them with a practised, resounding ‘pop’. The noise causes Moniwa to flinch as his back and shoulders tighten. Kenji pulls the lip balm out again and holds it out to Moniwa, the last step in his intimidation tactic. The part that always, always, screws with the opponent the most. The kill shot so to speak.

“Oh, did you want some?”

Moniwa slowly shakes his head as Aone stalks over to stop him. In the background Kenji can hear Kamasaki yelling at him as Sasaya tries to hold him back.

~~~~~(*)~~~~~

Kenji does it again, much to Moniwa’s annoyance now that his captain is used to his antics, unfortunately, when their team is matched up with Karasuno. He’d hoped to catch the large brunet they’d destroyed on the court off guard, wanted to try it out on him, but it didn’t end up that way.

Instead when he turned around the corner he came face to face with Karasuno’s captain. Kenji didn’t bother remembering his name. Their team no longer important now that they’ve beaten them.

They stared him down with a chillingly cold look that nearly unsettles Kenji from his plan. Yet he holds strong. Squaring his shoulders back he tries his best to seem relaxed, a hard endeavor under the sharp daggers being thrown his way. Humming softly Kenji begins his plan, meeting the Karasuno captains eyes as his hand goes to fish out the lip balm of the day from the depths of his jacket.

It’s Mango today. He’d made sure to match the color to Karasuno’s orange. A sort of good luck thing he’s gotten in the habit of doing whenever they have a game. Match the opposing team's colors to the closest lip balm color. 

Just like he’d done to Moniwa earlier that year, Kenji rubs his layered lips together. Spreading the balm over and over until the friction heats it up and smooths it out evenly. Recapping it he releases his lips with a loud pop. Unlike Moniwa, Karasuno doesn’t flinch. He barely reacts as he continues to glare in his direction. 

A flurry of sound along with the echo and squeaks of sneakers against the floor signals the oncoming of what he guesses is the rest of Karasuno. Kenji grins, the fakest of fake smiles he’s able to muster crossing his face. Eyes crinkling and teeth showing. He raises his hand to hold out the stick towards Karasuno in offering. 

He’d bust a gut laughing if the guy didn’t look so close to murdering him. Instead Kenji allows a few snickers to fall from his mouth as he watches Karasuno’s face darken. A small vein pops on their forehead, throbs as he sends Kenji a forced smile.

“No thanks,” turning on his heels he stalks away from an openly laughing Kenji who is, as usual, saved from himself as Aone drags him away.

~~~~~(*)~~~~~

Cucumber and Mint.

It’s one of his favorites. Fresh smelling and the mint leaves that tingly feeling behind. If only this round of messing with his opponents had gone as he’d planned it. It’s been working for years. The whole thing has never failed to bring out a hilarious, entertaining reaction from people. At least until now.

Kenji can feel his brows twitch. His well saturated, tingly lips shake as he struggles to hold onto the fake grin spread across his face. Hilariously his target, the oh so great and powerful Oikawa, has a similar look on his face as he and Kenji maintain eye contact. 

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum have their arms slung over Oikawa’s shoulders. They’re laughing in sync. Making obnoxious popping noises, mimicking the one Kenji had just done at the end of his whole speel, in between bouts of rolling laughs. 

As if expecting it they duck out of the way of a flying volleyball. It smacks into the side of Oikawa’s head just as the deep, echoing voice of Seijoh’s ace reaches them. They allow Oikawa to nearly fall into Kenji, who thankfully steps out of the way before he gets toppled over. 

Kenji slowly backs away from the scene before Aone can come retrieve him. The Seijoh ace stalking over to his captain, yanking him in the opposite direction as he begins lecturing the brunet. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum lean against each other now nearly in tears they’re laughing so hard.

~~~~~(*)~~~~~

Terushima is the last opponent in high school that he tries the antic on. Both third year captains going face to face in what could be the last game of their senior year, it was perfect. Until the bastard ruined it.

The poorly bleach haired boy lit up like a fucking toddler on christmas morning when Kenji held out the honey flavored balm. His face dropped into a deep scowl when The other captain practically jumped from one foot to the other as he fished out a matching honey lip balm himself, voice high and joyous in amusement.

It led to him running up to Kenji several times that day, whenever they were close on the court or off it, just to ramble on about his own collection of lip care products.

~~~~~(*)~~~~~

Kenma’s reaction had to be one of his favorites. He even bothered to learn the Nekoma setters name afterwards. The anxious boy was an enigma. Shy, quiet, even awkward off court. But once his mind got into the game he was seemingly an unstoppable force. 

Now teammates in college, Kenji’s come to respect the previous rival. Though he was surprised to see him during tryouts. He always seemed uncaring, even cold whenever Kenji had seen him back in high school. Now he’s come to learn that that’s just how Kenma is.

So of course he had to try it out on him.

They were the last ones in the locker room when he finally got his chance. Kenma was placing his things in his gym bag when he raised his eyes curiously at Kenji. He’d been staring at Kenma long enough for the setter to catch on. Once their eyes locked Kenji winked, slid the strawberry lip balm over his lips and released one of the loudest pops he’s ever been able to achieve.

Kenma blinks once and continued to stare back at Kenji, face unreadable. Grinning widely, a semi-fake smile, Kenji holds out the uncapped stick in offering. Kenma’s eyes drift down to look at it for a second, then they slide slowly up to meet Kenji’s again. Kenji feels the laughter bubble up in the pit of his stomach as he takes it a step further.

His tongue darts out to swipe along his bottom lip suggestively.

Finally Kenma’s mask drops. His nose scrunches and his eyes slit closed. Gripping his gym bag with both hands he begins backing out of the locker room. His eyes never leaving Kenji’s even when he accidentally back into the wall next to the door. Kenma simply slides along the wall until he’s able to back out of the door and turn around the corner. Kenji’s laughter harmonizes with the sound of Kenma’s quickly retreating footsteps.

~~~~~(*)~~~~~

He meets Akaashi through Kenma during one of Kenma’s game launch parties. He’s honestly surprised he’s still invited to them, considering Kenma has yet to speak to him since the whole lip balm incident about a month prior. Which is also why he really shouldn’t be instigating it again so soon, and in Kenma’s apartment with Kenma sitting directly across from him, but dammit the situation was too tempting to pass up.

Akaashi is the embodiment of deadpan. He talks softly, is quiet to nearly a fault and his facial expressions are non existent. But his eyes give him away. Where the mask he wears hides everything his steel greys give it all away. So Kenji knows the moment the raven haired boy begins lightly flirting with him.

Subtle banter and arm brushes being the only other signs he’s correct in that assumption.

The air inside Kenma’s apartment is stale and dry from the heat of mid simmer. So it’s no surprise that once Kenji feels a tightness of his lips he’s pulling out the lip balm stashed in his shorts. Today's flavor is Coconut and Pear, a perfect summer choice in his opinion. 

He’s lightly rubbing his lips together when he notices Akaashi staring at his lips. They flick up to meet Kenji’s when he pauses his action, the stick of lip balm hovering just beyond his top lip. The cap is gripped loosely in the hand laying on his lap. Kenji quirks a brow up in question as Akaashi. Instead of answering, his face remaining blank, Akaashi looks back down at Kenji’s lips where they remain until Kenji does his usual popping noise. It regains Akaashi’s attention just as he recaps the lip balm and holds it out teasingly.

To his surprise Akaashi takes the stick. Surprise turns to shock when Akaashi suddenly stands, says bye to noone in particular, and heads for the front door. Kenji’s lip balm held between a thumb and forefinger, straight out in front of Akaashi as if it was something contaminated or dirty. His shock begins to fade into annoyance when Akaashi doesn’t spare him a glance as he slips on his vans and opens the door to leave.

Kenji springs to his feet just in time to see Akaashi look over his shoulder, shoot a wide grin in his direction, and drop the Coconut and Pear balm into the wastebasket by the door.

Kenma finally speaks to him again, only to tell him that Akaashi apparently enjoyed hanging out with him. Kenji disagrees and hopes he never has to see the lip care murderer again.

~~~~~(*)~~~~~

He’ll never do it again after today. The antic, gimmick, whatever you wish to call it, has failed him one too many times now. It’s to the point where Aone no longer bothers ‘saving’ him. His best friend instead finds amusement in the situations Kenji is finding himself in lately whenever he tried to intimidate another.

His worst one yet, is Tendou Satori.

The redhead has been a thorn in his side for years. They were rivals through high school and it carried over into College when Kenji walked into a literature class to find him sitting in the back. Kenji of course sat dead center in the front to avoid the unnatural bastard in hopes he could go on avoiding him until the end of the semester. Of course this failed the very next class when Tendou made a show of recognising him halfway through class and racing down the aisle of tables to sit next to him.

This carried on for almost two months before their professor assigned them seats next to each other and flatly stated that if either of them strayed from it they would be permanently removed from the class. They even went as far as to pair them together whenever a joint paper, discussion or project came up. Kenji swears it was out of pettiness for Tendou’s disturbances as there was no way any of it was his fault.

Of course, that is exactly what led to him being in this situation now. The forced partnership. They’re supposed to be working on an essay of differing opinions on a classic piece. A sort of debate on personal interpretations. They’d been at it for hours now and Kenji’s drink was long gone. So much like what had happened at Kenma’s, Kenji felt the dry tightness of his lips and subconsciously reached into his hoodie for his lip balm. 

Tendou had been watching him instead of working for the better part of an hour now so Kenji chose to continue ignoring him as he swiped the wild cherry balm over his lips. He’s tired, irritated, and quite honestly bored of the whole situation. That’s more than likely what spurred the idea that his childish, used-to-be amusing intimidation tactic, is a perfect thing to do. The belief that it might knock Tendou down a few pegs from impossibly annoying to very annoying too hard to pass up. 

Kenji applies a liberal amount. Lips warming the balm, smoothing it over and over as his eyes side eye Tendou. The red head stares back, a lazy, crooked grin across his face as he watches Kenji with what appears to be only mild interest. This annoys Kenji as everyone else had given him their full attention, gaping at him with various expressions as he moved his hand away. Yet Tendou couldn’t seem to muster up enough respect for his actions to even look at his lips or his hand. Their dark, crimson toned eyes remained focused on his. They don’t budge even when Kenji releases his classic pop, not once but twice.

Grinning tightly Kenji dramatically waves his hand out toward Tendou, lips parting to voice his offering. Only to choke on his words and flinch away, grin falling into an ‘o’ of shock when Tendou’s slender, cold fingers sudden wrap around his extended wrist. Kenji blinks lamely at the grip, tries to pull away defensively only to hand Tendou’s fingers tighten for a second as if in warning. Glancing up slowly Kenji meets Tendou’s gaze again.

Tendou pulls his arm forward as he leans over the space between them. He watches as Tendou’s lips part gently, enough for him to see the pink of Tendou’s tongue. Kenji watches, with a mix of horror and curiosity, as Tendou uses his hand to apply the lip balm over his disgustingly chapped lips.

Honestly, the man could use some intense lip care. It’s not even Winter. No one’s lips should be that bad outside of bitingly chilly weather. There’s no excuse for it.

His wrist is finally released as Tendou rubs the balm over his lips, flopping gracelessly back into the chair in his usual slouch. Kenji softly settles back in his seat, hand slowly pulling back until it lays in his lap. He’s still blankly blinking at Tendou, trying to figure out what the hell just happened and why his heart rate has spiked so high it’s pounding against his throat instead of his chest. Tendou sends him a wink as he releases his own popping noise, imitating Kenji. Though he can’t tell anymore if it’s in a mocking tone or not.

“So,” Tendou’s voice rings in his ears as he tries to focus on it and not the burning sensation spread across his face and neck. When did it get so hot in here? “Now that we’ve prepared our lips… Wanna make out awhile?”

They were kicked out, and banned for a week, from the library when Kenji decided the proper response to Tendou’s request was to toss his notebook at the dumbasses head. Tendou had dodged and well… The kid behind them didn’t appreciate a sudden knock to the back of his head. It was overall an annoying experience, at least in Kenji’s opinion. He’s pretty sure Tendou found the whole thing amusing and fun.

At least it makes for a good get together story whenever someone asks.


End file.
